Accept iCal invites with different email addresses?

Hi there
I receive calendar invites through a variety of different email addresses. I can only accept/save the invite to iCal (not a Google calendar for instance). Invites won't save to a stipulated calendar, only the default one.
I cannot notify acceptance of an invite unless it has come to an Apple email address, so work and personal email addresses show that I have been invited but the caledar does not recognize alternative addreses and as a result I cannot confirm acceptance.
Is there anyway to configure iCal to recognize multiple adresses or is there another application that you can suggest that works with multiple addresses?
Many thanks for looking.

At what stage does it change? What happens if you start the email with a capital? What happens if you select the address from the pop-up? What happens if you drag the address across from Address Book?
AK

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