Apple id family sharing

Hi there,
Looking for some help sure that someone can help.
We have in our family, ipad2 (husband), ipod touch 4g (son) , iphone 3gs (me).
We use the same apple id for all the products as we want to share purchases/downloads.
All are updated to ios and offer icloud.
We do not want anything automatically pushing to a device as all owned by different family members, but we do want automatic back up on all devices.
Since upgrading any facetime chat/message my son has shows up on my iphone, and we cannot make facetime chats to each other as we have the same id.
Is there a way to share an apple id for purchases and something else for facetime etc??
Also can we have icloud set up to backup only, will that work??
If we switch on back up, when I plug it in how will it work with syncing etc.
Idiots guide please, I am both dumb and blonde and it is nearing the end of a long day!!!
Thanks in advance

- To use FT amd Messages with one ID see the following. You will need individual email addresses.
MacMost Now 653: Setting Up Multiple iOS Devices For Messages and FaceTime
- You can backup to iCloud or to the computer.  Each device makes/has its own backup.
- If you set up to backup to iCloud, you tillsynce normally via USB or wifi to the computer except with USB a backup will not be made.
- Also see the following:
How to use multiple iPods, iPads, or iPhones with one computer

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  • Apple ID / Family Sharing for Kids: Change Requests

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    All,
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    Hi Mdbarnharts, 
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    Family Sharing and Apple IDs for kids - Apple Support
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    Hello RoulaGK,
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  • Why does family sharing prevent one ID from having multiple families, it's not that uncommon for one person to have multiple families they're involved in.

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    I own the movies and I want them to stay in my iTunes library basically forever.
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    Also see this , -> Download past purchases
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    Suggestions here -> http://www.apple.com/feedback/

  • Family sharing two separate iTunes accounts

    My husband and I have separate iTunes accounts from before we were married, and we have maintained separate accounts because we could not figure out a way to merge them.  This means that we frequently have to buy the same app twice in order to have it on both our devices.  Is is possible to merge these separate accounts through family sharing, or must we be forced to choose one family head (and loose all content on the other).  Home sharing doesn't work because he is active duty and we are often in separate locations.

    Hey Tsumommy,
    Welcome to the Apple Support Communities! Family Sharing was created for this exact situation. Allowing family members to share music, movies, TV shows, books, and apps from their individual Apple ID accounts. As long as both of your accounts have the same payment information, you should be good to go. Setting up family sharing won’t force you to use one account, nor will it cause you to lose all of those great purchases from the other account(s).
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    https://www.apple.com/ios/whats-new/family-sharing/
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    Apple - iCloud - Family Sharing
    https://www.apple.com/icloud/family-sharing/
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  • Previously everyone in my family shared my iCloud account info. How do I upgrade to Family Sharing?

    I'm the only person with an iCloud (iTunes) password. Is everyone required to have an iCloud password under family sharing?
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    Hey Ben Sharpton1,
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    Start or join a family group using Family Sharing - Apple Support
    Family Sharing requires a personal Apple ID signed in to iCloud and iTunes.
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  • How To Use Family Sharing on one Apple ID ?

    OK....I like the new family sharing but I got around this in past in creative way.
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    See this page : Leave Family Sharing.

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    I have 4 devices under my apple ID. 1 iPAD is used by my wife and has her own mail account setup. With family sharing, I would like to move that account to an Apple ID of her own and add her to the family list. How do I do that?

    Hello Godde
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    Using your Apple ID for Apple services
    http://support.apple.com/kb/HT4895
    Sharing purchased content with Family Sharing
    http://support.apple.com/kb/HT201085
    Regards,
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