Back to my mac has never worked for me [sigh] - Help?...

Hi Gang,
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong, but I've never been able to set up Back to my mac. There doesn't seem to be a whole lot to it if you've got a dot mac account, all Apple hardware and (in my case) a static IP address for the Airport Base Station (which is now a 1TB TimeCapsule). I feel like I must be missing something obvious as it seems I see the problem appearing less frequently with posts on and off this board now that 10.5.2 is out. Have a missed a post here which solved something obvious?
Here's the basic setup.
Home Computer is G5 Tower, always on connected directly to TimeCapsule which is connected directly to cable modem. The TimeCapsule has a static IP address and I have a couple others which are unassigned. Running 10.5.2 with Back to my Mac Enabled.
Laptop MBP moves all over town and country (and globe) with all the same systems and updates.
I have 3 different dot mac accounts (all full user) and have rotated through them to see if that would help. I'm not 100% certain which one the desktop is running, so I've registering all 3 (one at a time, of course) to see if it would magically show up in the shared bar. I'm not entirely certain if I'd need to log in and out to see that. Am I?
I run Apple Remote Desktop 3 when I'm on my local network, but have never used it across the internet. Tried it last night from London and realized there are configuration issues that I'm probably not aware of and just have not had time to troubleshoot it whilst on a family trip here.
I did (only for this trip) password protect the screen (in Security prefs), but I thought that would at least present itself for entry if I was successful enough to actually access the G5 Tower. Yes? No?...
I'm just kind of stuck and it would be so nice to be able to access the desktop on this trip. Does anyone have any suggestions for a fix while I'm on the road?
Very much obliged,
Mick

Thanks Dogg,
I had a moment of light when I was able to access my wife's computer (which was on) and then remotely access the desktop. For about 5 whole minutes it worked! I checked the settings there and then made the really stupid mistake of trying to change the Screen Sharing settings away from Remote Management to Screen Sharing, and then totally lost my connection. I feel so dumb. I'd forgotten that turning one off to get the other on would obviously not work. [sigh]
But at least I saw it work briefly on another computer.
Any idea how to turn BACK on Screen Sharing or Remote Management, remotely?
much obliged,
Mick

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