Error message when I email - the email is NOT sent -

When I try to email, I get the following error message, UNLESS I'm emailing to myself -
Cannot Send Mail
A copy has been placed in your Outbox. The recipient "whoever I'm emailing.com" was rejected by the server because it does not allow Relaying.
Help - thank you.

I also am having the same problem on my iPhone3, although the recipients have only started being rejected on this basis after I upgraded to v.4.2.1. My smtp settings are correct and have not been changed and I can receive mail OK. The local Vodafone iPhone was unable to help.
Any suggestions for a fix?

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