Half my library shows when I'm not signed in, and lost playlists!

I wonder if some i-tunes whizz can help me please. I did an update a few days ago and on re-opening i-tunes discovered that more than half the library was missing as well as all playlists, including purchased (and I purchase quite a lot). After a lot of quietly desperate screaming I logged a call and the following day phoned i-tunes help. Mysteriously all the songs had reappeared but no playlists. The lady said 'this always happens when you update'. Not so, as this has never happened before and I update every time one is offered. (I then spent a few hours backing up all my music to an external hard drive.)
Today I went back in to see if I could find out how to get my playlists restored and gasp! Half the music had disappeared again. I looked for the most recent track I'd purchased and found it. So the music was still in the PC. Good. When I double clicked it it appeared in i-tunes and played, but the other 1500 tracks or so were still missing. When I'd finished having a tantrum, my teenager asked me whether I was signed in to i-tunes. No, I wasn't. When I signed in all the music came back. Still no playlists though. I have also acquired a little cloud icon next to 25% of my songs, funnily enough it doesn't appear next to the most recent purchase since I played it from within the PC as it were.
You should know I am a semi-PC literate British middle aged woman. My teenagers can't help anymore-they might be pretending though.
My questions are these please:
1) Most importantly, can I get my playlists back? I did have a look on here for that and found something but it was not execatly the same issue so I will re-ask! I haven't synced my ipod since this disaster so they're on there.
2) I never used to have to sign in to i-tunes to see my music. Is there some way of avoiding that? Or have I done something wrong?
3) Why is the i-cloud sign only on some of the tracks? I don't remember signing up though I can see it's a good idea.....

See Empty/corrupt library after upgrade/crash.
tt2

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