HELP - My Battery is either magical, or is about to explode.

So ive been noticing that ive been getting horrrible battery life (usually just over an hour) on my macbook, even when not doing much on it. So just this afternoon i decided to calibrate it. So i used my computer normally until the battery went out and the computer shut down by itself. I checked that the battery was empty by pressing the little button on it, and there was only 1 flashing light, so it was pretty much empty. I then took the battery out and waited a few hours. Before putting it back in, i pressed the button again, and all 5 lights came on. After putting the battery back in, and not even attaching the power adapter, it says the battery is at 100%, with 10 hours remaining....
What tha F?

You haven't quite completed the calibration process when you pressed the button. You need to run the computer until it sleeps or shut down, then leave it in this state for about 5 hours, then fully recharge it. Your battery was not correctly calibrated before you started and you hadn't finished the calibration process so it's not surprising the number of lights was inconsistent. It's a simple case of Garbage In-Garbage Out.
Perform the full calibration process again and I expect you'll get some sensible results.
Bob

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