How can i control my new mac mini using my new macbook air? Thanks

Hi, I would like to control and even file share my macmini using my macbook air... the mac mini is plugged into the family 50inch plasma... so getting access to it is not always easy! I'd like to play itunes, films, file share, just about do everything from the macbook air as if I was on and in front of the macmini... i'm hoping to do this from any country using wifi!
I've looked at screens - vnc client, but can;t find anywhere where it says I should download the app... is there a master to download to the mac mini, then waht do i download to the macbook air to enjoy control... also am i expected to download twice and pay twice?
I'm very new to the mac world... loving it, but lots to learn! Appreciate your help, thank you
Chris
PS... bonus if I can also control the mac mini using my iphone4 and ipad 2 (yup, my bank balance took a major hit.... apple certainly got me hooked!)

Sceen sharing is built into the OS  go to your help in the finder and type in "screen sharing"
To set up screen sharing: (on the mini)
Choose Apple menu > System Preferences and click Sharing.
Select the Screen Sharing checkbox.
To specify who can share your screen, select one of the following:
All users: Select this if you want to allow any user with a user account on your computer to share your screen.
Only these users: Select this if you want to restrict screen sharing to specific users.Click Add at the bottom of the Users list and select a user from Users & Groups (accounts you have set up in Accounts preferences), Network Users (users on your network), or your Address Book. Or click New Person and enter a name and password to create a sharing account. Then select that user from the list and click Select.
Click Computer Settings and set the following options:
Anyone may request permission to control screen: Select this to allow anyone on your network to request to share your screen.
VNC viewers may control screen with password: Select this and enter a password that VNC viewer applications can enter in order to control your screen.
It’s recommended that you not set a password if you only share this computer’s screen using the built-in screen sharing viewer in Mac OS X.

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