How do I get the fn key on the aluminum keyboard to work like Insert under Windows?

Question

How do I get the fn key on the aluminum keyboard to work like Insert under Windows without having to press fn + Enter?
This article explains the problem but has no real solution:
Boot Camp: About keyboards and key assignment for Microsoft Windows - Apple Support

Answer 1

I'm not sure if you even read the first couple of posts at all. On the old Apple Pro Keyboard (white keys and translucent body), pressing the Help key resulted in exactly the same key code as the Insert key on any standard (IBM) PC keyboard. This meant that regarding this key, that Mac keyboard will work just like a PC keyboard. (I don't care much about the other keys.)
The problem is that on the current Apple Keyboard with Numeric Keypad (white low-profile chicklet keys, ultra-slim aluminum body), the Help key is now called fn and produces a different key code than the old Help key, so that you have to press fn + Enter (on the numerical keypad) to get Insert.
This page explains the problem:
Boot Camp: About keyboards and key assignment for Microsoft Windows - Apple Support
Do you understand what I mean? It's not a software thing, it's a hardware issue in the Apple Keyboard with Numeric Keypad, because fn is a hard-coded, not software-controlled modifier key. I have no idea if there is even a way to get around that, and that is what I am trying to find out.