How do i make it so iTunes plays the music files from where i have chosen to store them?

how do i make it so iTunes plays the music files from where i have chosen to store them as opposed to it scattering copies of my files into a myriad different folders based on the albums they came from when i'm not even interested in keeping whole albums?
I recently converted myself to mac after having been a windows formatted person since the beginning of time. I use last.fm and the client scrobbler only supports iTunes on the mac (scobbling since Nov 06 and i'm now heavily dependant upon it as a means of discovering new music) - if you don't know what that means then take it for granted i have no option other than to use iTunes as my media player whn using the mac. And almost immediately upon using iTunes i was filled with horror.
My tale of woe as follows: I copy all my mp3 files to folder X on my new mac. I copy my simple playlist in to that same folder X. The simple playlist simply lists all the files in folder X in the order i want to hear them in... simple right? And what happens the moment i start playing my simple list? Well you probably all ready know; itunes throws copies of all those files in to the air, scatters them to the four winds so each of them fall into a little folder of their own representing the album they might once have come from. I don't keep whole albums. For me the 'album experience' is a ruse to trick one into listening to weaker material. I only keep the concentrated goodness. I only put up with albums in a previous lifetime because in the days of vinyl i had no other choice apart from spending hours compiling mix tapes. Now i am liberated from these restrictions and have been for the 15 or so years i've been using a computer to listen to music. Until along comes iTunes forcing me backwards in time, frog marching me back into the past.
That simple list i mentioned is my one and only playlist. This single playlist has been evolving for 15 years as tracks are added and removed and their position in the list changes because that song sounds amazing when heard after that other song whereas hearing this song after that song would be like pouring custard over your sausages (for me shuffling is an abomination). And so here is how i've managed this list and managed synchronization of said list and listed files with my mp3 player (currently a Zen).
Adding a new file: After deciding that song is a keeper i will copy it into that simple folder that holds all my music and drop it in to a position on the list i deem most suited for it. Incidentally over this entire 15 year (i'm pretty sure it's been around that long) my media player has been winamp but for the reason previously mentioned i am unable to use winamp in mac world.
Removing a file: fortunately winamp has an option to simultaneously remove a file from the list and the hard drive. And naturally so because after all if i no longer like a song then i want it expunged completely from life or at least from my hard drive and playlist. In the brave new world of iTunes i have to remove from the list there then delete the file from where iTunes copied it from and then the place iTunes copied it to.
Editing the list: drag an item in the list to it's preferred location and select to save it as i would for any other file using any other application... well desktop type application as opposed to one that uses a database as its primary means of storage.
Syncing with the mp3 player: copy drag drop playlist file from the simple folder on the hard drive to the simple folder on the mp3 player as i would for any other file. And then also copy drag drop the most recently created files from simple folder on hard drive to simple folder on player after having ordered them by creation date so as to make it easier to select the most recently created. After a while the mp3 player will fill up with the files no longer on the list so i will delete all files from player then re-copy all flies from simple folder on hard drive to simple folder on mp3 player.
I do not make changes to the list on the mp3 player so synchronization needs only to go one way: from laptop to player.
So all very simple. Apart from editing the positions of files in the list everything is managed by copy drag dropping and deleting files using windows explorer.
But i'm in a mac and circumstances have forced me in to the corner of using iTunes. And this whole iTunes situation is terrifying for me as over the years i've heard horror stories about it deleting all of someone's music files. Perhaps this may have been by using the software incorrectly but even so, the very fact that it appears possible for this to happen simply by using the software incorrectly and the fact that it happens with some degree of frequency given the number of reports of this happening that i have heard of over the years on music discussion forums fills me with dread that i have to now use this software. And given the software's blatant disregard for the user's choice as to where to store his/her files it's no surprise that this happens. The software is pointlessly doing dangerous things with my data. Please make it stop.
Please can i just at the very least make iTunes play the music from the folder i have chosen to put my files in and not copy those files here there and everywhere without my say so? Thankyou.

option discovered in preferences. Really this and any feature that moves deletes or edits a users data should as far as possible be OFF BY DEFAULT. It shouldn't by default and without the users specific say do this dangerous and unnecessary thing without even letting the user know what it's doing!!! And then cause me a few hours (as i'm new to mac) searching for the option so as to switch it off. If i hadn't noticed the status cage declaring that it was copying files then i might never have twigged that this insane thing was occurring. And if i hadn't of noticed i would have been left maintaining the contents of the folder i copied the files to, the folder which as far as i was informed and so believed was also the location of the music files i was playing. How does Apple justify this 'genius' piece of software non-design? Surely it will hurt no one if this was off by default for new users - overall at least i dare say it would cause a lot less distress in the future for the unsuspecting public at large. Thanks for the support.

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