How do I update the iOS software on iTunes for Windows

Hi all.
The battery life in my phone was decreasing very quickly to the point where I have turned it off with 100% at night, and wake up in the morning to have it at 0%. So yesterday, after making a few calls I got to this nice man who explained to me that it was not a problem with the battery, but I needed to update to the latest version of iOS (generally fixes the problem). I don't have enough space (and cannot clear it), so he suggested another option. I would have to use iTunes. First he told me to upload my data to iCloud. As I have not done it before, it took a while, and it did not work for a while. He sent me the link of what to do via email (Update the iOS software on your iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch - Apple Support) and hung up, after me thanking him. My cloud finally updated a little before 10PM GMT and I went to sleep. In the morning my battery was not dead, albeit it had only gone done by a few %. However, I still want to update to the newest software.
I have the latest version of iTunes on my laptop and so this morning I plugged in my phone to my laptop (using the computer - phone plug). However I cannot see where to select my device. My phone is not coming up in any corner, and it is not charging when it is plugged into my laptop either (I read somewhere that it should). So my question is, how do I select my device. It is plugged in but it not coming up for me. Please be as explicit as possible.
If it helps I have an iPhone 4s bought in December 2013.
Thank you!

I'm not sure if it should be here or in the iPhone usage forum.

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