How do I upgrade this P.O.S. ipod 2g from crappy 2.2.1?!?!?!?!?!?!?

how do I upgrade this P.O.S. ipod 2g from crappy 2.2.1?!?!?!?!?!?!?

It is a first gen ipod touch.
You can purchase 3.1:
Purchasing iOS 3.1 Software Update for iPod touch (1st generation)

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