HT4557 whats the best itunes/appleID setup for family of 3 with 3 ipads, 3 iphones, one PC with all music on.  if we use 3 separate ones how do we share purchased and home content?

been with apple for years.  one itunes/appleID in use for family - all purchases and downloads on the one account..
now got 3 ipads, 3 iphones and when we update the software, we seem to get text/facetime issues due to multiple email addresses and phone numbers for the different devices that each individual uses.  For example, I send a text and it appears to have come from my wife or son to the recipient.  Not good !
there seems to be direction from apple that each of us should use our own apple id, thogh how do I link the accounts so enable family sharing of music/media we have purchased etc - Id also like to be able to review and keep a private eye on what my son downloads as he is 11 yrs old ! I manage this currently as we allow him access to the password for itunes (as we all use the same id today)
Am i better setting up accounts for my wife and son independent of my own, or not. Each of us would like access to the family content we have and the master library of synced content.  I just want the most simplistic approach that apple, or others would recommend. 
Is there a better or optimum setup for a family as we cannot be alone.....

Thanks for the help, but a follow up question now.
My iPhone won't arrive for a little while, but my wife already got hers and she wants to set it up now. Using my Apple ID for the purchases, if she starts setting hers up, can she change her iCloud ID to something else quickly? It keeps telling us that we have to sign in with the AppleID first.
Should we just set up an iCloud account via normal internet before trying all this via iPhone?

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