I cannot add music to my iPhone 5

This has been a problem for a few months and I have spent the past few days trying every variation I can think of from this thread
iPhone 5 won't sync music from my iTunes library
I cannot restart my phone either because my sleep/wake button is broken and Apple won't fix it, even though it's eligible for a free repair, because they say my phone is bent.  My phone is not bent.  I'm not due for an upgrade until December.
I'm kind of not sure how to explain the problem so if something doesn't make sense, please ask and I'll try to do a better job. 
I plug the phone into my Macbook Pro and drag the album I want to put on my phone to the little iPhone icon on the left hand side of iTunes, like I have every time since my first iPod in 2003.  I then click the little triangle next to my iPhone icon so I can look at the music on my phone through iTunes, just so I can see what's there or delete something.  The album I just added is listed as being on the phone, but it's grayed out like it would be when you're adding a whole bunch of songs and the transfer isn't finished yet.  But they will be soon.  My problem is that they never get added to the phone.  They just stay grayed out.
But this problem isn't consistent.  About a month ago, in an attempt to solve this problem, I deleted all of my music from the iPhone and then put it back.  It worked to a point.  In some cases an album transferred fine.  In other cases, the first song of an album would transfer but the rest of the album would stay grayed out.  I'm out of ideas.
Since I've been trying to figure this out, I've noticed a few other issues that lead me to believe that my phone and iTunes aren't talking to each other correctly.
-Albums that I deleted from my phone over a year ago are now back on my phone.  In some cases they are no longer in iTunes so I don't know where they're coming from.  If I look at the music on the iPhone through iTunes, those albums aren't there but they're in the music app on the phone and they play.
-In some cases, an album is in there twice
-iTunes says my phone has 9.5 GBs available but the phone says there are only 2 GBs available.
I should note that probably less than 5% of my music is purchased from the iTunes store. 
Everything else on my phone seems to be working correctly
I'm running a 2011 Macbook Pro, Mountain Lion, IOS 7.1.2 and iTunes 11.3

In iTunes right click the song you want to remove. Delete it. it will not delete the song from your library on the computer.
Once removed sync.
The song will be gone from your iPhone.

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