I desperately need help with Mail, specifically sending

For Starters:  I am on OSX 10.9.2 and am trying to use mail 7.2.
https://discussions.apple.com/post!input.jspa?container=2998&containerType=14&qu estion=I+desperately+need+help+with+Mail%2C+specifically+sending
I cannot send.  I have been at this for hours and hours and hours.  Here are the details.
my mail server however is s1.sistercompany.net
I can receive email just fine.  I can also send mail just find having set this up on my iphone and also in thunderbird (which i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate, which is why I am desperate to set up mail)
The settings in thunderbird are as follows:
Servername: s1.sistercompany.net
port: 465
Authentication method:  normal password
Connection Security:  SSL/TLS
However, I just can't get this to work in Mail.  When I write an email and hit send I get a popup that says:
Cannot send message using the server s1.sistercompany.net
The certifcate for this server is invalid.
Now, my tech guy says yeah the certifacte is invalid because you are going through sistercompany server, there should be some way to just accept the certifcate anyway (but he has never used mail before).
So I have serached around and come up with this: http://support.apple.com/kb/PH11706
Which tells me to use the verify certificate dialogue, which I would do except there is no verify certificate dialog.  Any thoughts?
<Email Edited by Host>

I don't have a problem watching the Lost episode on abc.com, using a stock MacBook with 512MB RAM. I don't know what technology abc.com uses in their viewer, but I have Flip4Mac and the latest version of Flash player installed.

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