I have a iPhone 3GS and my husband has the iPhone 4 , both phones with updated current . We added iMessage to them at first it was great, now I don't get half the texts my husbands send and when I send him a text message it will come up from my email???

I have a iPhone 3GS and my husband has an iPhone 4, both phones are updated. We added iMessage the them both and at first it was great, the messages appear in the text messages under the phone contacts and when I send a text message it will either be a green message  or a blue one for (iMessage) depending on the signal.  Now when my husband sends a text message to me I don't get them all or some days none. When I send him a text message he gets them from my email address. I cannot send him a standard text anymore my phone only wants to iMessage, so if the signal is not right it just sits there undelivered???
I also have a friend who that we regularly texted each other, for the past 4 months I can receive her texts but she never gets mine? And I have tried countless times, now iv given up trying and I don't use texting to either, but everyone else no problem.

You and your husband can share a store account and still have seperate iCloud accounts for your contacts, bookmarks and stuff like that.  Click here for instructions to make an apple account without entering a credit card.  Make sure you use a different email address for each apple account. 
Set up your iPhone/iPad whatever using the new account for iCloud.  Then go into settings/store and sign in with your purchasing account, you may need to sign out of the other account.  To the best of my knowledge, your household is allowed to share purchased legally, someone please correct me if I'm wrong.
Once you each have your own devices set to your own accounts you can set them to backup to that account and it will keep all your contacts seperate.

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