I have an iphone 4s and when I try to connect it to my shared libraries; I get an icon of a circle that only fills up halfway.  I have an ipad and it connects to the shared library without a problem.  My library is much larger than the capacity of either

I have an iphone 4s and when I try to connect to my shared library I see an icon of a circle that only becomes half full.  It does not connect.  I also have an ipad, which connects without incident. My itunes library is larger than the capacity of both devices, so that cannot be the issue.  How can I get the phone to connect with my shared library?

My husband and I are using the same iTunes account on all mac & pc computers, but the libraries are different on each machine.  We always manually manage our music (no auto sync).  iTunes is up to date on the PCs.  My husband uses our joint iTunes account on his pc, but once again, has a different collection in his library from those on the other machines.  He can't load any music from his PC to his iphone 4.  I can load music from my mac library to my iphone 4s, but cannot load from my pc library to my iphone 4s.  How can I switch my main library that it syncs with from the mac to the pc?
Thanks

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