I'm tearing my hair out. Got a new iphone went to sync and now all my iTunes playlists are missing. Please help

Basically my iTunes playlists have gone missing. They were there yesterday and today I got a replacement iphone. I connected it to itunes and they were gone I was left with just 3 songs I had downloaded from the itunes store. I've read previous posts about recovering them but I can't find 'previous iTunes library' the folder with the dates in for exaple itunes library 2012-03-09.itl - all I can find is music - itunes then one a few options but none that has the dates on
Any other ideas
Please help

Can you copy over the library again from the old computer?
And yes, backup is advisable.
tt2

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