I updated my iPhone and lost all photos, videos and e-mail accounts. How do I get them back?

I updated my iPhone yesterday (simply to get rid of the reminder that was bugging me).  The last time I updated the phone everything went fine, my settings, ringtones, messages photos etc all backed up perfectly.  This time around all my photos are gone, my videos have disappeared, ringtones are back at factory settings and my e-mail accounts are all gone.  I've also lost all my messages which is a real bummer because there were contact details in some of them.  I've tried restoring the phone from iTunes and going back to a previous backup but no joy.  Can anyone help?
Failing that can anyone tell how best to complain to Apple??? (Would anyone give a "s h one t" anyway!)  Aaaaggghhhh!

John Hanniffy wrote:
I have lost all my photos and videos in iTunes as well.  I don't understand how all my music transferred over but not those? 
Pictures were never in iTunes.  iTunes is not a photo management program.  It is merely a tool that allows syncing of a specified folder to an iDevice.  Was the folder that was being synced copied from the old computer to the new computer?
John Hanniffy wrote:
Another weird thing is that some of my Apps 'changed' in the upgrade and now don't work (e.g. Group Text App reverted to the 'free' Ad bearing version whereas I previously had the 'paid' No-Ad version installed).
That leads me to believe they were not in the Apps folder in iTunes... maybe they were never transfered to the computer.  These can be downloaded again via iTunes or directly on the device.
Downloading past purchases from iTunes
John Hanniffy wrote:
As I said in my initial post the thing that really bugs me is the loss of my SMS texts.  I don't see any way of backing those up on iTunes and when I previously upgraded the iPhone software they, along with all my settings, transferred over seamlessly.
SMS/MMS/iMessage is included in the backup of the device done via iTunes.  Restoring of that backup will put all the content back.  This should also restore the email account setup
About iOS Backups

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