ICal/Gcal sync - CalDAV didn't work, 3rd party app created duplicates?

I'm not yet using Snow Leopard.
I've been using iCal for some time as my primary calendar. I keep 3 calendars: Life, Work, and Dance, so events show in a different color depending on what they relate to.
I would like to sync these calendars into Gcal. I have only one master calendar there and don't really use it b/c I dislike the interface compared to iCal, but sometimes it would be useful to be able to check it on the fly. So what I want is to enter and edit events in iCal, that then sync to GCal - in other words, use iCal as the "home" calendar.
I set up CalDAV according to Google's instructions. This did... apparently nothing, but when I set up an event in GCal, it "pushed" it to iCal. However none of the iCal events "pushed" to Gcal.
So I went and downloaded Calgoo Connect (http://www.calgoo.com/). Followed their instructions.
I set up syncing between the 3 iCals, and the one Gcal. On the Gcal end, everything looked good - there seems to be no way to distinguish by color like there is on the iCal end, but at least all the events showed up.
On the iCal end, every single event in my calendar suddenly appeared in triplicate, with every event assigned to all three calendars (Life, Work, and Dance). Obviously... not what I was looking for. I have the "connector cleanup" feature turned on in Calgoo Connect which is supposed to prevent duplicates, but it did nothing - instead I spent 20 minutes manually cleaning up my future/recurring events, but everything in the past is now a mess, and I don't want this to happen in the future.
I posted asking for help in their forum but haven't had a reply. I wondered if anyone here had tried it, or knew of a way to make this work via CalDAV, or of another freeware/shareware app. I've seen people here mention Spanning Sync, but I'm reluctant to drop $65 on an application when I'm having such rough luck so far.
Why doesn't CalDAV work both ways? Why is this so difficult?

Anybody willing to help me figure this out? I keep getting conflicting info about CalDAV - that it's one-way only, that it's two-way - and am getting no help choosing a third-party syncing app if that's what it comes down to.

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