Is it possible to sync an iPhone to one mac for music only and another mac for everything else? What about shared iPhoto?

I'm trying to figure out the best way to manage my iphone and that of my wife.
Our set up is that we share music that is on my imac under my apple store id. We also like to have all of our photos in iphoto on that imac.
She has her own macbook and I'd like to use icloud to sink her personal bookmarks, calendar and other stuff.
I've thought about seeing if I could set her phone up to sync with icloud as appropriate, turn on wireless sync on her imac for syncing everything but music, then sync that same iphone on the imact but just sync music.
I've tried to point her macbook to my imac itunes library and that doesn't seem to be working very well.
The other wrinkle is that she is taking photos on her iphone that I'd like to show up in our shared iphoto library and photo stream. Currently we have our individual icloud apple ids so we may sync our own bookmarks and such and we use a separate "store" id for music and apps and such. I'm not sure I see a way for me to merge iphotos into a shared library/stream?
1. Any thoughts on the best way to manage two iphones, each with their own computer, but a shared music library?
2. Any thoughts on the best way to merge iphoto?
I've been experimenting with setups and I have a feeling folks with more experience have probably worked this out better than the way I'm thinking of doing.
Thanks.

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