ITunes library issue - different library on my iPhone

I have an iPhone 3GS with the latest iOS on it, and I had recently restored it from a backup on my computer.  It had crashed during
an iOS update, so I did a restore and then did the update again, and everything worked.  I had even worked on my library and had
synced it with my phone. Now, after an iTunes update, it doesn't sync and when I tell it to, it says that it is synced with a different
library and do i want to erase the phones library and sync with the one on the computer. 
What happened?  The library on the phone and the computer are the same.  So now why does iTunes think they are different?
How do i resolve this without messing up either the computer or the phone?  Is there a way to transfer everything on the phone to
the computer and have it correct the library on the computer so that it matches?  This really has me baffled...
Thanks in advance for any help.

I have tried the library file rename and copy/paste suggestion from other threads, and it didn't work.

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