Macbook Pro Retina display says "No batteries available" after legitimate system software update

Question

Issue Description
On July 26, 2012 I placed an order with Apple store for the 15-inch MacBook Pro with Retina display with the following configuration (Order # W269108641 Serial# C02J52S9DKQ5):
Processor 2.6GHz Quad-core Intel Core i7, Memory 16GB 1600MHz DDR3L SDRAM, Flash Storage 512GB Flash Storage
It was delivered August 8, 2012. It cost me $3,265.16
I have since equipped it with accessories like a wireless apple keyboard ($69), wireless mouse ($69), USB super drive ($79), VGA display adapter ($29), Ethernet Adapter ($29) and the excellent sleeve/pouch from Pack & Smooch GmbH (GBP60))
It's so heavily configured because it’s my main workstation. I additionally bought and installed Parallels 8 so I can run Windows 8 in a Virtual Machine because I have a few things on Windows that I need to be productive. This setup has been a dream machine until a little over a week ago.
In the one year since I bought it, I have had only 2 issues;
• A case of display flickering that resulted after a system software update on August 28, 2013
(Case ID 498560320 - not much help came from Apple Support but fortunately the problem went away a week later after another system software update)
• A case of battery failure that resulted after a system software update on October 11, 2013
(Case ID 516534003 - I have gone through all recommendations from Apple support as I will detail below)
Symptoms after system software update
• Battery Icon on status bar disabled with a message "No batteries available"
• Battery not charging
• LED on the Magsafe power adapter no longer show
• Keyboard backlights no longer show
• Notebook fan loud/noisy and permanently at high speed
• Date and time reset to a date in the past at each restart
• Notebook starts up the moment the Magsafe adapter is connected without waiting for power button to be pressed
• An update for "MacBook Pro Retina Display SMC Update 1.2" keeps appearing in Software Update
Recommendations from Apple Support
• Perform SMC Reset (http://support.apple.com/kb/HT3964)
(Done - no change in status)
• Run Disk Utility
(Done - no errors found)
• Run Apple Hardware test (http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1509)
(Done - no errors found, no change in status)
• Visit Apple Store
(Done - they confirmed no issue with Magsafe adapter. For a fee they are happy to change the battery if confirmed faulty and re-install the OS if the battery is not the issue but am uncertain that the OS re-install will resolve the issue because I have read online about a similar case where a re-install did not resolve the issue)
• Check System Report/Hardware/Power
(Done - Health Information/Cycle count:0, Battery installed: No)
• Perform NVRAM Reset (http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1379?viewlocale=en_US)
(Done - no change in status)
Comments and additional Observations
Please note the following;
• All of the symptoms above appeared after a system software update on October 11, 2013
• This update first appeared on October 10, 2013 but I was too busy to apply it especially because it required a system restart
• The battery was fully charged when I decided to apply the update on October 11 morning after I got to work
• Normally on full charge, the battery will typically deliver 3 - 4 hours depending on usage and up to 6 hours when idle
• The said update was not interrupted or anything of the sort
• On the day the symptoms were first observed when I first logged the case with apple, the system ran on battery while it performed the Apple Hardware Test while I was driving to the Apple support store on my way home even though the status bar was indicating "No battery available" 
I make the following deductions solely based on my observations
• An apple authorized system software update broke the system
• The nature of the failure is communication related - the battery charging circuit and related systems are not getting the necessary instructions to function as they should (It's a known fact that rechargeable batteries do NOT die instantaneously, the total hours they run on full charge will gradually reduce over time as they degrade on use)
• It’s possible the update is not being applied correctly because the item “MacBook Pro Retina Display SMC Update 1.2” is still in Software update after subsequent attempts to apply it
• The high fan speed is nothing to do with high temperature or high processor load, according to the Activity Monitor utility the highest CPU utilization 1.9 – 4.7% is by kernel_task (PID 0) followed by activitymonitord at 1.8 – 2.2% (PID 481)
• The symptoms match what an SMC reset should resolve according to Apple documentation
• This is a known problem within Apple based on the documentation provided and the numerous similar cases reported online
Summary;
The system is running OS X 10.8.5
I have provided this detailed documentation in the hope that someone who understands this system can say exactly what is going on. It's meant to be a dream machine but now you can hear the fan from across a large room, the battery doesn't charge and is in fact not recognized so I lose data if the Magsafe adapter gets unplugged, and I have to reset the system date each time I restart the notebook.
I've used this notebook with utmost care for a little more than a year, this investment of over $3,500 could have bought 3 high end notebooks from DELL or HP but I chose Apple.
I have suffered untold loss in productivity in the last 10 days since this issue occurred, I respectfully request Apple to fix my notebook.

Answer 1

Issue Description
On July 26, 2012 I placed an order with Apple store for the 15-inch MacBook Pro with Retina display with the following configuration (Order # W269108641 Serial# C02J52S9DKQ5):
Processor 2.6GHz Quad-core Intel Core i7, Memory 16GB 1600MHz DDR3L SDRAM, Flash Storage 512GB Flash Storage
It was delivered August 8, 2012. It cost me $3,265.16
I have since equipped it with accessories like a wireless apple keyboard ($69), wireless mouse ($69), USB super drive ($79), VGA display adapter ($29), Ethernet Adapter ($29) and the excellent sleeve/pouch from Pack & Smooch GmbH (GBP60))
It's so heavily configured because it’s my main workstation. I additionally bought and installed Parallels 8 so I can run Windows 8 in a Virtual Machine because I have a few things on Windows that I need to be productive. This setup has been a dream machine until a little over a week ago.
In the one year since I bought it, I have had only 2 issues;
• A case of display flickering that resulted after a system software update on August 28, 2013
(Case ID 498560320 - not much help came from Apple Support but fortunately the problem went away a week later after another system software update)
• A case of battery failure that resulted after a system software update on October 11, 2013
(Case ID 516534003 - I have gone through all recommendations from Apple support as I will detail below)
Symptoms after system software update
• Battery Icon on status bar disabled with a message "No batteries available"
• Battery not charging
• LED on the Magsafe power adapter no longer show
• Keyboard backlights no longer show
• Notebook fan loud/noisy and permanently at high speed
• Date and time reset to a date in the past at each restart
• Notebook starts up the moment the Magsafe adapter is connected without waiting for power button to be pressed
• An update for "MacBook Pro Retina Display SMC Update 1.2" keeps appearing in Software Update
Recommendations from Apple Support
• Perform SMC Reset (http://support.apple.com/kb/HT3964)
(Done - no change in status)
• Run Disk Utility
(Done - no errors found)
• Run Apple Hardware test (http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1509)
(Done - no errors found, no change in status)
• Visit Apple Store
(Done - they confirmed no issue with Magsafe adapter. For a fee they are happy to change the battery if confirmed faulty and re-install the OS if the battery is not the issue but am uncertain that the OS re-install will resolve the issue because I have read online about a similar case where a re-install did not resolve the issue)
• Check System Report/Hardware/Power
(Done - Health Information/Cycle count:0, Battery installed: No)
• Perform NVRAM Reset (http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1379?viewlocale=en_US)
(Done - no change in status)
Comments and additional Observations
Please note the following;
• All of the symptoms above appeared after a system software update on October 11, 2013
• This update first appeared on October 10, 2013 but I was too busy to apply it especially because it required a system restart
• The battery was fully charged when I decided to apply the update on October 11 morning after I got to work
• Normally on full charge, the battery will typically deliver 3 - 4 hours depending on usage and up to 6 hours when idle
• The said update was not interrupted or anything of the sort
• On the day the symptoms were first observed when I first logged the case with apple, the system ran on battery while it performed the Apple Hardware Test while I was driving to the Apple support store on my way home even though the status bar was indicating "No battery available" 
I make the following deductions solely based on my observations
• An apple authorized system software update broke the system
• The nature of the failure is communication related - the battery charging circuit and related systems are not getting the necessary instructions to function as they should (It's a known fact that rechargeable batteries do NOT die instantaneously, the total hours they run on full charge will gradually reduce over time as they degrade on use)
• It’s possible the update is not being applied correctly because the item “MacBook Pro Retina Display SMC Update 1.2” is still in Software update after subsequent attempts to apply it
• The high fan speed is nothing to do with high temperature or high processor load, according to the Activity Monitor utility the highest CPU utilization 1.9 – 4.7% is by kernel_task (PID 0) followed by activitymonitord at 1.8 – 2.2% (PID 481)
• The symptoms match what an SMC reset should resolve according to Apple documentation
• This is a known problem within Apple based on the documentation provided and the numerous similar cases reported online
Summary;
The system is running OS X 10.8.5
I have provided this detailed documentation in the hope that someone who understands this system can say exactly what is going on. It's meant to be a dream machine but now you can hear the fan from across a large room, the battery doesn't charge and is in fact not recognized so I lose data if the Magsafe adapter gets unplugged, and I have to reset the system date each time I restart the notebook.
I've used this notebook with utmost care for a little more than a year, this investment of over $3,500 could have bought 3 high end notebooks from DELL or HP but I chose Apple.
I have suffered untold loss in productivity in the last 10 days since this issue occurred, I respectfully request Apple to fix my notebook.