Malware on New Helix (out of the box) / Need Help Accessing Recovery Partition

Hi,
I'm working on a problem for my folks. My dad got my mom a brand spanking new Helix (not exactly a cheap laptop).
It came with two pieces of malware:
1. Windows 8
2. AstroMenda
Since I can't do anything about #1 and #2 is a serious PITA and the machine is new out of the box (really), I thought I'd just restore the machine from the recovery partition.
However, I cannot seem to get the machine to boot to recovery mode.
Enter doesn't seem to do anything (that is the only keystroke suggested by the splash screen).
F12 gets me a boot menu but I don't see any recovery options. Selecting the Windows Boot Manager or the Hard Drive itself results in Windows 8 booting.
F1 gets me the BIOS. Though I imagine I might be able to set the recovery partition (which #?) to the #1 boot option, I absolutely should not have to do that.
Shift doesn't do anything (suggested elsewhere on these forums).
F2 doesn't do anything.
F11 doesn't do anything.
Esc doesn't do anything.
My older lenovo T61p had the ThinkVantage. I always thought that was pretty goofy but now I'm wishing I had a ThinkVantage.
BTW, Lenovo Support was USELESS. They told me to return the machine and transferred me to returns but since my folks were on vacation when it arrived, we are outside the 30 day window, returns wouldn't do an exchange. They opened a case with Customer Advocacy (never heard of that) but told me I wouldn't hear anything for 3-5 business days and there is no number, website, or email you can call to check your "Customer Advocacy" claim. That sounds a lot like GFY.

Hello.
Open up the Charms Bar - Settings - Click the Power Icon - Hold either Shift button down and press Restart. This will open up the Advanced Startup menu.
Cheers!
ThinkPad W540 (20BG) - i7-4800MQ/24GB // ThinkPad T440s (20AQ) - i7-4600U/12GB
ThinkPad T440p (20AW) - i7-4800MQ/16GB // ThinkPad Helix (3698-6EU) - i5-3337U/4GB
ThinkPad W520 (4282-W4Q) - i7-2720QM/32GB // ThinkPad T400 (2767-W1C) - P9500/8GB
ThinkPad T61 (7665-CTO) - T7700/4GB // ThinkPad T60p (8741-C2G) - T7400/4GB

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