Need to change default email for iCal and Discussions

I have a dual problem tonight.  my first problem is trying to reset my default email address in iCal to my new email address since we changed ISP.  I have read that I need to change the default in MAIL, but everything there is with my new email address (@Telus).  My old email was (@Shaw).  When I set up a meeting on iCal and send it out to others, the reply email is @shaw and I can't seem to find how to change it to @telus.  No one can reply with confirmation since it is going to a dead letter box.
However, in trying to find something here on the discussions I noticed that my apple account to log into discussions still has my @shaw address, but for the life of me I can not find the account settings that will let me change my email on my user name/profile.  I won't get a notice of a solution of either of these questions through the automatic reply as it will go to dead email land.  I don't want to have to close this user name and my history and start all over again.  Yet the edit profile only lets me reset my biography information, not my email account.
Since I won't get a reply automatically, please CC your post here to mrbarth @ telus.net as well.  Thanks,

On Mac OS X, 10.7.2:  After several days of trying all the suggestions, I went to the Apple store.  It took 2 Geniuses two hours to figure out that invitiations were being sent from the email that I have set as primary with Apple.  It didn't matter that the account wasn't even listed on My Card in Address book nor was it even anywhere in mail preferences.  What mattered was that I had that email as primary.  So, I went to
https://appleid.apple.com/
and changed the Primary Email address.  Now all my invites come from that address.
Supposedly iTunes and everything else will come along...

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