New Ipod Touch will not sync correctly

I had an Ipod Classic that was recently stolen, apparently by AirTran employees.  Anyway, I got a new iPod Touch to replace it and it will not sync.
There are problems even getting it to connect.  The first time I got it connected, I thought it synced.  I could see the list of songs, but I couldn't get any of them to play.  I finally realized that they were greyed out and not clickable.
I hooked back up to iTunes and tried again.  It seems like it is syncing some songs, but times out. 
Apple Support said to disable the antivirus and firewall on my Windows 7 PC.  This does seem to help some, but it doesn't solve the problem.  I've gotten a lot more songs synced, but not all of them.  It syncs some of them and then stops. 
What is more, it always gives a different number of songs to sync.  It has been as high as 900+ and is now down to 121 of 229 and frozen again.  Total songs in my library is about 3000.  I'm guessing that the number (229) is the remaining number of unsynced songs, but I'm not sure.  At times it seems almost random.
Sometimes the sync just stops and sometimes iTunes totally freezes as it has now.  I have the most up-to-date version of iTunes.  I reinstalled it yesterday when I was having problems with my iPad (a totally different issue:  It crashed after I installed OS 5.  That is fixed now though.)

I have run into that problem before, but that is not what I'm currently seeing.
As an update, I finally did get the iPod to sync.  It would time out after syncing for a while, but with repeated syncs it finally loaded my full collection of music, etc.
A recurring problem is that when I want to sync, often the iPod will not show up as being connected to iTunes even though it is connected to the computer.  It often takes multiple attempts at connecting and rebooting to get connected so that I can sync.

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