No alerts/editing of Calendar events from e-Mail

My office uses lotus/imap which sends me invitations in the form of .ics files in mail on my Mac laptop.
I just noticed the other day that all meeting invites that come in through mail this way are un-editible both in ical and on the iphone. You can't set an alarm, add notes to the meeting...nothing.
This is really inconvenient, particularly not being able to set an alarm for 10 minutes before the meeting.
Have I got something setup wrong? Is there a way around this? Works fine on events I enter manually on the iphone or ical, just not these automatic ones.

I can understand not letting anyone but a meeting's organizer change details like time/date/location.....but the alarms and notes???
If my boss sends me an invite to a meeting I don't want to forget, where's the sense in me not being able to turn on a 10 minute warning alarm on my laptop/phone???
Not being able to add private notes to a meeting is also pretty bad....sometimes need to add notes to yourself on stuff you need to bring, how to get to a meeting room...etc.

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