Not Visible in iTunes and YouTube doesn't Connect in 2.3

I was happily working away with ATV until upgrade 2.3 and iTunes 8 came out. Since then, I have reverted back to factory reset several times and find that this is the only reliable setup, I'd love to have my MobileMe gallery and YouTube working again but it is more important to have the kids' videos and the family photos available.
I have an MBP, iTunes 8.02, Time Capsule (mixed N&G not hidden), ATV. What's working is the following:
Movie Trailers
MobileMe Gallery
Flickr
I have however lost the following
Visibility from the MBP iTunes
YouTube doesn't connect
It looks as if this is another factory reset and resync of the 100GB of movies/photos/music again..... I am getting really ticked off by all of this.
Can anyone out there answer the following
what have YouTube and iTunes visibility have in common?
why isn't Apple more responsive to the numerous posts?
how can this be resolved?
I understand that there are many posts out there on this but many speak of equipment incompatibilities but I am totally Apple. Any help would be appreciated and I will detail the solution for my circumstance if I get one.

here is what i posted a bit ago. 1st i believe u need the 2.3 upgrade for utube.
i have x10.5.6 imac and i did this:
if you have ANY problems with ATV, first thing you do is (on your mac) go to finder, applications, utilities, disk utility, then click on the disk containing itunes (mac HD for me) then choose "repair disk permissions". i then rebooted.
next if (or when) the device doesn't show (in itunes), go on ATV - settings, general, network, configure wireless (u will have to choose your network and input your password again) then done. that makes my device show up.
if the connect to itunes grays out do the above again, *don't choose to disconnect from itunes!* this seems to work to resume the connection, rather than start all over again.
This is what i kept doing - starting over, using reset and also stopping the current sync connection. this is what u should NOT DO.
the first item (utility disc correct) fixes the firewall problem (so far anyway) i have accept all incoming on my mac firewall, but not on my router (belkin) no problems since i have followed all this stuff i am writing.
make sure all the items you want to see in your ATV are check marked in your itunes, otherwise itunes thinks you don't want to view those items.
let itunes automatically choose, as long as you have everything checked it should all show up.
when itunes chooses, some items are streamed, some are synced. UNCHECK the "show only synced items" i have never had any luck with the custom
if (when is more like it for me) the itunes stops syncing, now i click sync again or go in the ATV and redo all that network gobbledegook - i changed my password so it was easier to type in! - and it continues from where it left off! REPEAT, DO NOT CANCEL AND START OVER ON THE SYNC TO ITUNES, that is what i kept doing and it was continuously reloading everything.
you do have to keep itunes on, though, and i have my settings so my computer is never put to sleep (but my monitor goes to standby) I am not brave enough right now to try the custom, as i said it seems that keeps disappearing on me. hope this works for you

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