Problem wi-fi synching to iphone

I just bought my iphone 4s and i saw the feature wi-fi synch and it said it was automatic. It is actually a very complicated process. All of the tutorials are saying that you have to check a box that says sync with this phone over wi-fi but i don't have this box under options under my iphone device at all? Any help ??

Just dropping in to say that my phone has still never synced over wi-fi without me initiating it either through the phone or through iTunes.  The "Open iTunes when this iPod is connected" had no notable effect. 
I should also mention that my iTunes library is on an AirDisk through an Apple Airport Extreme Base Station which disconnects itself after a period of time.  It appears to be connected through Finder and iTunes will give no error, but I will lose file permissions and it won't sync the phone or iTunes nor will I be able to transfer files to/from/within the AirDisk.  I thought they were two separate problems, but they began around the same time.
Fffthhhhrrrrrpt!
OS 10.6.8, iOS 5.0, iTunes 10.5
I do not have iCloud set up as I still have syncing through MobileMe and don't want to have my data moved off of my device. (Data remains as "cached" data when away from the cloud, but disappears if you turn off the cloud)

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