Question: how do you handle mail coming in via relays

I discovered a problem I'd like your opinions on.
Assume my external DNS entries look like
mydomain.com MX 10 mail.mydomain.com
mydomain.com MX 20 mail.myprovider.com
The first entry points to an Ironport, well protected. But the spammers know that, so they deliberately pick the second - the provider's sendmail. That accepts everything and tries to get it off to mail.mydomain.com. Of course, there will be a lot of unknown recipients, so the directory harvest protection kicks in and blocks. As a result, the queues fill up there with thousands of mails.
Now you could say: just drop all mail coming in that way. But of couse I cannot. There might be the odd legitimate mail in there.
What now?
Option a) Accept all mail coming in from that host even if the recipient is invalid an drop it silently. Don't know how to do that. Apparently the listener cannot discriminate between connecting hosts.
Option b) get rid of that secondary MX. Won't help anyway, as it is always cluttered with junk.
Option c) host your own secondary MX. Ok if you have redundant connections as well. But not if you need a buffer for mails in case your connection is down.
Option d) pick a provider that offers Spam-protection. Well, what would I need the Ironport for then?
Share your thoughts. Give me a hint. Tell me the page in the manual I overlooked.
Cheers
Henrik

Create a sender group under the Host Access Table to cover the IP range of your providers's mail servers and then apply a mailflow policy with the DHAP set to an unlimited number of invalid recipients (in effect turns off DHAP for your providers's servers). The HAT is processed in the email pipeline before the LDAP acceptance. Once you have set that up - I would configure incoming relays to recognise your provider's mail servers so that the "real" host sender SBRS information can be used to determine spam messages more accurately.

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Question: how do you handle mail coming in via relays

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