Read/Unread really means Previewed/Unpreviewed--no practical use

I have searched high and low and cannot find a resolution for this problem, so this might be a feature request.
At the moment, Mail marks messages as "Read" and "Unread," by which it really means "Previewed" and "Unpreviewed."
If you preview a message, or if your cursor happens to pass over the message's title, Mail erroneously marks it as "Read." There is no way to preview messages to see which ones you want to answer now and which ones you want to answer later without a laborious, manual process of marking them "Unread." Since just moving the cursor marks the message as "Read," it is possible for a message to be marked as read when it hasn't been, which can cause the user to neglect messages they wanted to reply to.
Many people don't reply to previewed messages immediately.
I want to set a user preference so that previewing a message doesn't mark it as "Read." When I choose this user preference, no message should be marked as "Read" unless I have opened it in a separate window or I have manually marked it "Read."
If there is no user preference I can set to do this, I hereby request it.
This is the only flaw in Mail--and a very annoying one at that.
(It is a major flaw in the requirements; the developers are innocent.)
iMac G5 and MacBook Pro   Mac OS X (10.4)  

I've done that, no joy.
I can't imagine it was designed this way on purpose, that would be a terrible lapse in Apple's otherwise superb interface design, so I'm still holding out hope someone will tell me that the user setting is there and I haven't found it.

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