Struggling to sync, match calendars, contacts and I need HELP!

HI
Please help me, techie people!
I received my iPhone 3G S yesterday (my first iPhone) and hardly got any sleep last night through trying to resolve some syncing issues. These are my problems:
All my contacts mixed up en route into my iPhone, so contacts have right mobile number, wrong home number, right email, wrong home address etc. It is all completely untrustworthy. I tried re-doing everything on my phone, but it all went back to what it was like. I did the same on my mac and then it still all returned mixed up. It's so frustrating it made me cry! (that doesn't happen often!).
Duplicates of my contacts keep appearing - again, have gone through, sorted it out, and then they all duplicate again (tried following other threads but it keeps happening.
My calendars don't seem to sync. I have tried following instructions on different threads in this topic but still not right. All I want is for things I put onto my iPhone calendar to sync with my mobileme 'cloud' and then appear on my home mac, and things I put onto my home mac to sync with my cloud and then appear on my iPhone. This just isn't happening correctly.
Oh, and my sms stopped working, although following another thread I think I've managed to sort this (for now...).
I'm so, so disappointed. It's absolutely NOT been a 'straight out of the box' experience. I have reset the iPhone TWICE but it's still going belly-up.
Please advise me. I'm not an Apple techie but I'm not a complete technophobe and clearly something is going wrong. I can't currently trust any of the data. I was so excited about my new phone but now I am really, really fed up. And tired!
If anybody can provide me with a fail-safe, step by step idiot's guide to how I achieve the synching, that would be brilliant.
Thank you!!

Your iPhone carrier can probably move your contacts.
As far as your pics, if you can get them off your Pantech and onto your computer, use iTunes to sync them to your iPhone. The other option is to email/text them from your Pantech to your iPhone, if possible.

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