Sync first erased Address Book contacts, then erased my new iPhone contacts

I had to take my Mac Mini into service today ($50) to get my Address Book contacts restored after the first sync with my new iPhone. There was no prompt, no warning, no merge / replace option that the iPhone Help says would happen:
Step 3: Sync iPhone
Click Apply in the lower-right corner of the screen. iPhone and your computer sync according to your settings.
The first time you sync with a service, you are asked if you want to merge data, replace data on the service, or replace the data on your computer.
That expected prompt did not happen ... the sync started on its own as soon as I put the iPhone in the dock.
After I brought the Mac Mini home from service -- after making a backup CD of the contacts now restored in my Address Book -- I redocked the iPhone and stopped the sync with the slider. Then I hunted down the sync options in the Info tab in iTunes. Still no option to merge or replace that I could find. I carefully pressed Apply after I'd selected the sync options I wanted.
I still didn't get the expected prompt mentioned above.
It synched, but now all the few newly typed contact phone #s I'd put in the iPhone are gone! Not merged, not added, gone.
I searched the forums but could not find a topic addressing this.
mac mini   Mac OS X (10.4.10)  

Not sure why syncing failed but you can do the following: download the free app My Contacts Backup and use it on your phone.  It will back up your contacts as an attachment to an email.  Send the email to yourself and open it on your mac.  Double-click the attachment and your mac should import the contacts into Address Book.

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