Sync process is SO un-Mac, unfriendly

I wanted to modify the list of pdf's in "Books", nothing more. I purposely had iTunes set for Manually Sync Music. But, syncing books caused iTunes to delete all the music from the iPodTouch (3G; iOS 4.1). This is about the 6th time that I have had to reload my 3500 songs because the stupid program does the unexpected.
Why on earth can we not have one ONE control page a set of check-boxes as to what we wish to have change, and leave the rest alone ?????
It appears to me that the market is ready for a third-party iPod control application. One that "just works", like Macs used to.

That's the kind of thing I'm talking about.
SO, how do I manage pdf's without disaturbing music?

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