Synching to a new computer

Hello all,
I have an iPhone that I have music on synched to a Windows PC.  I just bought an iMac and want to synch my phone to the iMac instead.  However, when I plug it in to synch, it wants to wipe my iPhone and use the music from the iMac (of which there is none).  I want it to go the other way.
Now, my wife and I share the music library (she has an iPod, I an iPhone) from the PC.  Is it possible to have the music library on both systems and allow us to synch to whichever?
Sorry if this isn't clear. 
On a side note, I purchased a song on iTunes from my iMac and I cannot get it to download onto my phone from the iTunes store app on my phone.  No clue what's happening there.
Thanks in advance.
mark

Try this link on moving your itunes library from windows to mac...
http://www.macworld.com/article/1146958/move_itunes_windows_mac.html

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