Syncing Contacts between Outlook, MobileMe, GMail, etc..... ***?!?!?!

Hi Everyone,
Is anyone else totally bamboozled by the 'logic' applied by iTunes when it comes to syncing contacts on the iPhone with multiple databases...?
I use Outlook, GMail, Hotmail and MobileMe - and what an absolute dog's breakfast the iPhone has made of my contacts list! I now have some contacts appearing 5 or more times (9 is the record). I'm afraid the syncing is VERY unintelligent.
My Nokia N96 (worst phone EVER) was much better at sorting these things out - why cannot Apple achieve this so like everything else, "it just works"...?
Come on Apple! Intelligent control over contacts, please?!!!
BTW - I found an app that deduplicates contacts in the iPhone, or rather, it has a go. Takes several passes for it to sort itself out. I DREAD to think what it will do on the next sync with my PC..!!

Hi Glenn,
I think iCloud has been the root of the problem. For some reason, iCloud only sync some numbers of my contacts, not all. Where if i select On My Mac, it has all my contacts; this one because i have sync it with my Outlook the first time i got my Mac.
Yesterday I lost all of my contacts On My Mac, and this makes me lost the same contacts on my iPhone. the one that is left are the ones that iCloud has.
Now i cannot seem to sync Outlook with Adress Book.
Just exported Outlook contacts with .olm format, but when i want to import it to Adress Book, it's not compatible (can't select the file).
Question:
1. How do I temporarily 'turn off' iCloud sync so i can sync my Outlook contact to Adress Book first
2. I cannot find the prefs of "On My Mac contacts is enabled for outside syncing other applications" or "On My Mac contacts will not sync to iClouds contacts." for that matter.
sorry if it's a silly question, im quite a newbie when it comes to working with OS X.
thanks in advance.

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