What do I do about contacts and groups not synced from iPhone to iCloud?

I've been syncing my contacts with my Mac (Snow Leopard, not Lion) via iTunes for years now. It's worked well enough, but I don't sync with my Mac that often (typically weeks between syncs), so I've worried a little bit about losing data entered on my iPhone before it gets on my Mac.
Before: Mac <-iTunes contacts sync-> iPhone
A week or so ago I backed up contacts, calendars and my whole iPhone (and my Mac) then upgraded my iPhone to iOS 5. It took a while (hours) but seemed to work.
Then I set up iCloud contact syncing.
What I intended: Mac <-iTunes contacts sync-> iPhone <-iCloud contacts sync-> iCloud
After setting up iCloud contact sync, the trouble began.
I looked at my iPhone contacts and saw that instead of the half dozen groups they were organized into before, they were all in one iCloud group. I found I could make new groups and assign contacts to them on iCloud and they'd sync, but I'm not interested in redoing work organizing hundreds of contacts that iOS and iCloud lost for me.
Shortly I discovered that some contacts were just missing. Poof. Gone after the iCloud sync.
I've hesitated before syncing with my Mac again. I don't want to have the messed up groups and the deleted contacts propogate back to my Mac.
I've also hesitated because I don't see a way to disable iTunes contact syncing before actually plugging in my iPhone — the options for managing what gets synced only seem to appear when the iPhone is connected, and sync starts automatically.
Suggestions for how to proceed?
Thanks!

I found out how to disable automatic syncing:
In the device’s Summary pane, you can set iTunes to automatically sync your device when it’s attached to your computer. To temporarily override this setting, hold down Command and Option (Mac) or Shift and Control (PC) until you see your iPhone appear in the sidebar.
I'm still looking for suggestions about how to proceed to get contacts with groups synced.
Thanks again!

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