When I disconnect my iphone 3gs(iOS) from computer, the device disappears from my itunes. This prevents me from doing a wireless sync. how do i fix it so that my device stays on itunes without having to plug it in all the time?

When I disconnect my iphone 3gs(iOS) from computer, the device disappears from my itunes. This prevents me from doing a wireless sync. how do i fix it so that my device stays on itunes without having to plug it in all the time?
it worked the first few times i did it but the next day after i closed out of itunes once, the device only appears when i plug in my phone.

Whenever a menu choice is grayed out, that is because you have Restrictions turned on in Settings.  Be sure to turn it off.
You are confusing an itunes store account with an icloud account.  You two can continue using the same ID for itunes (thus sharing purchased music, apps, etc.), but you really should have separate accounts (different IDs) for icloud, since an account is intended for one user to keep his/her devices in sync.
To create a new icloud account, go to
http://www.apple.com/icloud/setup/
Then go to Settings>icloud and scroll to the bottom of the screen and tap Delete Account.  (have restrictions turned off)  That will disconnect the device from the account but will not delete data in icloud or other devices.  Then sign in using the new ID.

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