When i send an imessage to another person with imessage, my husband also receives the message, even though it was not sent to him.   We have always been on the same itunes account and not had this problem, however, when i added the ipad, this started.

When I send an imessage on my ipad to someone, my husband also gets the message, even though he was not selected as a receipient.  This just started when I got my ipad and sent a message for the first time.  As a side note, my daughter received an itouch and both my husband and i were getting all messages she sent, no matter which one of us they were sent to.  I turned her imessage off.  We have all of our devices under the same itunes account so that we can share all music and apps.  How can we get around this?  I do not want him receiving all imessages that I send, this will get very annoying to him.

You can have a separate AppleID only for iMessage and keep using the other one for iTunes.
Just change the AppleID used for iMessage in Settings > Messages > Receive At

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