Why can't Apple & At&t get their info straight?!?!?

So I got the 16GB model of the iPhone 3Gs directly through at&t via the online store. I decided that I wanted to upgrade to the 32GB model. Within the past two days I've gotten ALL these answers by both parties
1)Apple says I can't exchange the phone at their store, I have to go through AT&T
2)AT&T says I can't exchange with at&t, I have to do it at the apple store.
3)At&t says I have to do it at an AT&T retail store
4)At&t says I have to return it in the mail and wait for another iPhone 32GB to get sent to me.... Leaving me without a phone for DAYS.
*** is wrong with everyone?!?!?!?! Can't anyone get their facts straight. I've wasted HOURS of time waiting in line at the Apple store and going to the AT&T store. Why can't I just simply RETURN my 16GB model and pay an extra $100 for the 32GB?!?!?!?! What's the f'in problem?!?!?!

From my experience, it makes more sense to buy direct from an Apple store. I drove an hour to get to my closet Apple store to avoid this stuff. I've read to many horror stories on this topic.
_*Here's what another poster experienced and later resolved:*_
We tried to return the week 21 phone to the Santa Monica apple store, but the genius said because we bought it from AT&T we had to return it to AT&T; he said Apple will not replace any phones purchased from AT&T. Only looking at the icons on the black home screen, he said the phone looked just fine and meets Apple's specifications. We didn't bother arguing with him, the guy was not going to help us.
We called AT&T and they said that's not true, Apple handles all returns. AT&T transferred the call to Apple, and sure enough Apple replaced the phone, even though this phone was ordered on-line at AT&T and shipped by AT&T originally.

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