Why is iCal suddenly trying to use an old email address?

In the last month or so iCal keeps sending all of my alerts to an old email address. None of my alerts are set to be sent via email, much less the defunct account. This is happening at the same time that Mail refuses to send and displays the wrong content for emails.

Hey J,
Sure is confusing, but I think we can work it out...
If iTunes is telling you that there's an existing Apple ID with the name you're trying to change your iTunes account to, then, yup, you're probably right that you've used that email address as some other kind of Apple ID in the past...maybe for an iPod registration...or to use the support pages...any number of things).
To make things simple, let's give some fake names to the two email addresses at work here:
let's call your current iTunes account name [email protected]
let's call your other email address [email protected]
1. goto http://myinfo.apple.com and sign in using [email protected] (if the password doesn't work, try going to http://iforgot.apple.com to recover it)
2. once you're there, change the Apple ID (or account name) of that account to something other than "[email protected]". Make it something easy like "[email protected]_old", and make a note of this in case you need that Apple ID in the future.
3. save those changes. you're now done with myinfo.apple.com
4. at this point, you should be A-OK. you can now change your old account name "[email protected]" to "[email protected]".
Hope this helps! =)
1.67 GHz G4 PowerBook   Mac OS X (10.4.4)  

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