Your iPod is synced with another library. IT'S NOT! HELP

Ok. If you think you know the answer to this, just read please. I work for apple and I've used apple products a long time so I know you can erase the iphone entirely and re enter the songs. I've done that three or four times with this iphone already. I'm sick of it.
I shouldn't have to do this AGAIN. Is this a problem with my wife's macbook? Because this is a recent swap. The previous Iphones had lots of problems alsoWe're talking about her phone. It only gave me this problem when last night I was playing songs from her macbook through my imac using her shared library. That's all I can think of that might have caused this problem. But I just played music from my imac to her macbook using shared and it didn't deactivate MY iphone.
Can anyone figure this one out?

Sync is only oneway, from PC to your device.  Unless you have the music on your PC, iTunes is going to wipe out what you have on your device if you are syncing to a new library.
You can only transfer Purchased music over to Itunes on your PC.
iTunes Store: Transferring purchases from your iOS device or iPod to a computer
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1848
As for you own music, you may have to use a third party software.  A good Free one is called Sharepod which you can download from Download.com here:
http://download.cnet.com/SharePod/3000-2141_4-10794489.html?tag=mncol;2

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