1st Generation iPod Touch No Longer Recognized by Windows 7 PC

Question

I have a 1st generation iPod Touch (no camera) that can no longer connect to my Windows 7 pc. Plugging in the iPod via USB does not trigger any sort of dialog box in Windows and it doesn't trigger a message saying a device has been connected; the iPod does not show up in either iTunes, Computer, Device Manager or Devices and Printers, either as an Apple mobile device or an unrecognized device, and does not charge when connected to USB (though the wall-charger still works). As far as my computer is concerned this iPod does not exist. I had successfully synced this iPod as recently as one week ago and am ready to pitch the thing in the garbage if I can't find a solution.
I have the latest version of iTunes as well as the most up-to-date Windows updates. I have already followed all the steps listed here (iOS: Device not recognized in iTunes for Windows) multiple times with no success.
I also have tried following the instructions listed here (Re: For those Windows users who suddenly cannot see their device in iTunes. Here's a solution that has worked.) but this also hasn't worked since the iPod isn't recognized in the Device Manager and I am not given the option of updating the drivers, manually or otherwise.
I have uninstalled/re-installed iTunes and all related Apple services multiple times. The Apple Mobile Device Service is functioning normally. iTunes diagnostics indicate that there is no device connected no matter what I do. I have reinstalled my Windows USB drivers and changed the settings on the USB Root Hub in the Windows Device Manager to disable power saving options.
I have tried connecting the device to another PC which detects and syncs another apple device (iPhone 5) with no issues, and had the exact same result: the computer doesn't even recognize an iPod is connected.
I can't update the Apple Mobile Device Drivers because the device is not recognized by my machine in any way.
I even completely reset my iPod and that just left me with a unactivated iPod that still isn't detected.
I am really unbelievably fed-up with the useless "try checking your USB cable"-style advice that people seem to offer on this forum. If anybody has dealt with this issue and has any serious advice other than "re-install iTunes," it would be much appreciated.

Answer 1

You said "I am really unbelievably fed-up with the useless "try checking your USB cable"-style"
- Did you try another cable?
- Inspect the dock connector on the iPod for bent or missing contacts, foreign material, corroded contacts, broken, missing or cracked plastic.
Try on another computer