3GS phone is stuck on "connect to iTunes" graphic, iTunes doesn't recognize it

During IOS 5 upgade process, after iTunes performed backup and wipe, screen went to "connect to iTunes" graphic, however, iTunes will not recognize it. I can't perform a restore until I can get iTunes to recognize it. Can someone give me detailed directions, please? I have tried various steps directed by Apple on Apple Support page to no avail. As suggested by others, I have done the "hold buttons down" trick to no avail. I have removed all Apple software and reinstalled iTunes 10.5 multiple times to no avail. I have tried different cables. I have tried different ports. I have created different windows users on laptop. I have tried to restore drivers but it says that no drivers exist. I am running my computer with no add-ons and with nothing loading on initial startup. I have disabled all security software and settings. I have spent hours on here and on various websites through internet searches, reading various posts/threads and have tried everything I have seen suggested. I have no Apple Store within 200 miles of me. I'm at my wit's end with this. Fwiw, I purchased an iPad 2 approx. 3-months ago and have never been able to get iTunes to recognize it. Highly discouraged with these products to say the least. If anyone has any suggestions other than what I've already mentioned above, please let me know. Thanks in advance.
computer: windows xp; sp3
iphone: 3GS
iTunes: 10.5

Thanks, but yes I've tried that. That was what I was referring to above when I said I tried the "hold the buttons down" trick. I appreciate your response.
Additional info: My computer recognizes it; computer makes a "chime" noise when I plug and unplug it from the USB port.

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http://support.apple.com/kb/ht1430
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Hi, hope someone can help me. I connected my iPhone to my computer to transfer my photos from the phone to the PC. I have automatic syncing turned off.
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I wouldn't mind calling support but my phone doesn't work...Any help is much appreciated. Thanks in advance.
============
Microsoft Windows XP Home Edition Service Pack 3 (Build 2600)
ASUSTeK Computer INC. 1005HA
iTunes 9.1.0.79
QuickTime 7.6.6
FairPlay 1.7.16
Apple Application Support 1.2.1
iPod Updater Library 9.0d11
CD Driver 2.2.0.1
CD Driver DLL 2.1.1.1
Apple Mobile Device 3.0.0.102
Apple Mobile Device Driver 1.46.0.0
Bonjour 2.0.0.34 (214.3)
Current user is an administrator.
The current local date and time is 2010-03-31 02:42:39.
iTunes is not running in safe mode.
Video Display Information
Mobile Intel(R) 945 Express Chipset Family
Mobile Intel(R) 945 Express Chipset Family
** External Plug-ins Information **
No external plug-ins installed.
** Network Connectivity Tests **
Active Connection: LAN Connection
Connected: Yes
Online: Yes
Using Modem: No
Using LAN: Yes
Using Proxy: No
SSL 3.0 Support: Enabled
TLS 1.0 Support: Enabled
Firewall Information
Windows Firewall is off.
Connection attempt to Apple web site was successful.
Connection attempt to iTunes Store was successful.
Secure connection attempt to iTunes Store was successful.
Secure connection attempt to iPhone activation server was successful.
Last successful store access was 2010-03-31 02:22:42.
** iPod/iPhone Connectivity Tests **
iPodService 9.1.0.79 is currently running.
iTunesHelper 9.1.0.79 is currently running.
Apple Mobile Device service 3.0.0.0 is currently running.
Universal Serial Bus Controllers:
Intel(R) 82801G (ICH7 Family) USB Universal Host Controller - 27C8. Device is working properly.
Intel(R) 82801G (ICH7 Family) USB Universal Host Controller - 27C9. Device is working properly.
Intel(R) 82801G (ICH7 Family) USB Universal Host Controller - 27CA. Device is working properly.
Intel(R) 82801G (ICH7 Family) USB Universal Host Controller - 27CB. Device is working properly.
Intel(R) 82801G (ICH7 Family) USB2 Enhanced Host Controller - 27CC. Device is working properly.
No FireWire (IEEE 1394) Host Controller found.
Most Recent Device Not Currently Connected:
Fifth Generation iPod (iPod with video) running firmware version 1.3
iPhone 3G running firmware version 3.0
** iPhone/iPod Touch Sync Tests **
No iPhone or iPod found.
Message was edited by: gobblygook
Message was edited by: gobblygook

Your only choice at this point is to restore your iphone. Since it appears from your post that you have never synced to this computer, you of course will not have a backup to restore from. That means your only choice is to restore as a new device & re-sync your itunes content. Unfortunately, all of your contacts, calendars, pics in your camera roll, etc., will be lost. Its not a good idea to use the iphone or any phone for that matter as a storage device, as things like this can & do happen. You should be syncing on a regular basis. The first thing done when you do sync is an iphone backup. You should also transfer pics in your camera roll to a supported application on your computer on a regular basis, much like any digital camera. You can always sync pics back to your phone, but if the only copies are on the phone, you run the risk of losing them.
See if you can force the phone into recovery mode:
Leave the USB cable connected to your computer, but NOT your phone, itunes running, press & hold the home button while connecting the USB cable to your dock connector, continue holding the home button until you see “Connect to iTunes” on the screen. You may now release the home button. iTunes should now display that it has detected your phone in recovery mode, if not quit and reopen iTunes. If you still don’t see the recovery message repeat these steps again. iTunes will give you the option to restore from a backup or set up as new.

Iphone 5 stuck on connect to itunes screen- if i try and get it out of recovery mode it trys to extract the data and then says the phones memory is full

iphone 5 stuck on connect to itunes screen- if i try and get it out of recovery mode via itunes, it trys to extract the data and then says the phones memory is full- cant seem to get it sorted, any ideas? I have an ipad mini if that helps?!

Hey craigfromsheffield,
I would suggest that you use the following information in order to help you resolve this issue:
If you can't update or restore your iOS device
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1808
Thanks for using the Apple Support Communities!
Cheers,
Braden

3GS phone is stuck on "connect to iTunes" graphic, iTunes doesn't recognize it

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