90 day lock out on iTunes with a mac that has shared access

HI,
This is my first iMac and I've never experienced this problem on my older pc's before. I have set up my itunes and signed in to associate my account with the mac. My partner died last year and I still have to use their account to access some of our joint itunes purchases. I have signed in with their account and downloaded the necessary files. only to find that when I want to continue and use my own account, it now says I have to wait 90 days? these purchases should be accessable... can someone please help, as it is putting me off the idea of completely moving to Mac in the future.
thanks

Yes, I am having this problem because I have 2 Apple IDs/iTunes accounts.  Mind you, I don't want 2 accounts but Apple forced me to make a new apple ID when they started requiring email addresses as user ID.  This was the first big mistake that Apple made.  Their second mistake was not allowing people to simply merge these accounts.  Had they not made these mistakes initially, many people would still only have one Apple account/ID. Some bloke ought to lose his job over that. 
However, I understand this isn't the same problem as having multiple household members using the same computer.  It seems that Apple could figure this all out by either authorizing multiple users at the time of purchase, or allowing a handful of users to download to one computer. After all, if I bought a hard copy of a music CD, I could certainly allow my son or daughter to listen to it or download it to their computer.  Next thing you know, I'll have to sign a release saying that I am the only person that uses my iPod.
I am also returning not just one but 2 brand new Mac computers ($4500 coming back from Apple to my wallet) because I am so fed up with the poor customer service response that Apple has given this problem.  Not only did they take a ton of my money for iTUnes songs, but then they restricted my access to those songs. I think it's criminal and I wouldn't be surprised if this issue ended up as a class action wrongdoing suit.  I have to admit I've considered talking to a lawyer about it myself.  I am so sick of large monopolizing companies thinking that they can treat their customers poorly and expect us to sit back and take it. The good news is that this is a free country and I can choose to throw my money at any old company I choose..........Toshiba here I come.

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