A ? for Ralph Johns or anyone else that could offer a viable explanation.

First of all I would like to thank all of you who spend your personal time here helping us out with these issues. You answer the same questions time and again or at least point the requesters in the direction of the previously posted answers. There is however one recurring issue that I am actually facing right now and I wonder whether someone could offer a viable explanation as to what is happening or why.
I have multiple Macs but primarily use either a 1.5 ghz G4 desktop or my 667 ghz tibook for my iChat conferences. My mother is also using a 1.5 ghz G4 desktop. Both are on OS 10.4.7 patched right up. I bought her a brand new iSight and connected it right out of the box. Without altering any settings or opening any ports on the modem or router, I was able to have iChat conferences with my mom.
Suddenly one day I am no longer able to chat (audio or video) text works.
Now whether she initiates or I initiate the conference we both get notifications of the impending conference but then a communication error occurs and she gets a message from iChat telling her she did not respond, and I get the same message indicating that I did not respond.
After much reading on this topic, in this forum I have found many similar stories, some have been resolved by deleting the preferences files associated with iChat some look like they may have needed to alter the configs of either modems or routers. In any event nothing really explains why something that was working without any alteration to config files or the opening of futher ports, just ceases to work.
There has to be a plausible, and explainable reason why.
Is it corruption at some level? Is it communication, or lack thereof? Although I think not because the application recognizes the fact that someone wants to confer with you.
Any thoughts or postulations would be much appreciated

You've asked my question - why did it work one day and not the next? The people I want to connect with can all connect with some people but not others. My brother and I all of a sudden cannot connect Wisconsin to Arkansas no matter what we try. We've done it all, down to re-installs of 10.4.7. We're iChat veterans, and all of a sudden we're feeling like neophytes.
Oddly, my son can connect the 3 of us together no problem. What is it that makes some connections impossible? Have any of the major backbones changed rules anywhere? Is AOL messing with anything? Why is Apple not acknowledging any of this?
Whatever the gremlin is I know it has nothing to do with my computer or network up to my IP (Time Warner). Might they be a common denominator?
15: Powerbook G4   Mac OS X (10.4.7)  

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