A series of unfortunate iPhone/iTunes events.

Cliffnotes:
-Facebook App for iPhone was messed up, kept logging me off
-Deleted Facebook Application, reset my phone
-iPhone no longer worked after i turned it on, was in Recover mode.
-Got home, restored it, noticed that my whole iTunes library was actually gone.
-Found out my bro backed up some Files on my computer to a hard drive (this may be why my iTunes library is gone)
-Extremely upset and need help.
Full, Uncut Version:
-So here I am with my iPhone, just doing my normal thing, and I try to open up my Facebook Application. For some reason, even when I typed the correct email/ password combo it would not log me in, so I changed my password and then it would log me off within 3 seconds of logging in. I decided I would delete the application and redownload it.
-After deletion, I decided to restart my phone. I turned it off and tried to turn it back on, but it would not turn back on. It was in Recover mode so I needed to connect it to iTunes.
-So I get home, connect my iPhone to my computer, and restore it. After it is restored, I notice that ALL my songs, applications, music, movies are ALL GONE. So my whole library is gone.
-Extremely annoyed already, I find out my bro just backed up some files on the computer to a hard drive. I believe he also backed up my iTunes library.
-With everything gone, my iPhone is working now, but i have no idea how to get all my stuff back. I am extremely upset and need help.
*My Questions::*
-How exactly can I restore my iTunes library?
--Don't I need to find where the library backup file is in the hard drive? What type of file is the backup file (if it is a file?) ?? What would it be named?
--How can I bring back my library after i find it??
---How do I restore my iPhone again to how it was (with all my old files, contacts, applications, music, etc.) AFTER I RESTORE MY LIBRARY?
Alright, hope someone can help. Thanks. I'm really upset all this had to happen to me.

Yes I am on the right user account. The songs are still on the computer, but i don't know how to get my Album Art, Playlists, Contacts, Applications, etc. back.
And Lawrence, I agree THIS SHOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED. Yes my computer is having problems-this is why my bro was backing up files. and Yes this is due to someone deliberately messing up my iTunes. Someone backed up files and didn't know what he was doing and somehow my whole iTunes library is gone.
I found an iTunes folder that contains several files, one is an *XML document* called "iTunes Music Library", and there are several *iTunes Database files*-named "iTunes Library", "iTunes Library Genius", and "iTunes Library Extras".
-Are those the files I need to move to the correct place?

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A series of unfortunate iPhone/iTunes events.

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