A Tale of Two iPhones and One iTunes

So this little problem has plagued us for years... nearly three to be more precise.  We have two iPhones and one PC.  Wife syncs contacts with GMail and I sync contacts with Outlook.  Funny thing was that the tab for contact sync would not 'stick' with the phone... if I synced mine first, when I plugged hers in it would still be setup for Outlook.  Or if I changed it to Google for her and then plugged mine in it wouldn't remember my phone wanted Outlook and would sync with Google.  I gave up trying to get it working and setup a seperate profile on the PC for my wife that really was only used for her to sync her phone.  The only drawback we could see was we couldn't have a single repository for apps and I had to add music to libraries twice (one for each profile on the computer). 
Well, now that we're on the 4S I thought I'd see if iTunes has evolved since 3 years ago when I gave up.  I uninstalled all Apple applications and loaded the latest iTunes.  The cool part of iOS 5 and the new iTunes is we don't have to connect phones any more   So now both phones show up at the same time.  I can toggle through all the tabs and see how they differ... different sets of applications are selected, different photo options, music options, etc.  EXCEPT the tab with contacts.  If I set her phone to google, my phone changes too.  I set mine back to Outlook and hers changes to Outlook.  We've mixed and matched contacts several times trying to get them to stay in tune and that is a huge PITA to clean up. 
I tried the Genius bar.  The Genius answer was that we should probably do a restore on the phone.  I asked him to help me understand how restoring one phone would solve a problem that existed across 4 phones (two 3G's and two 4S's) and untold versions of iTunes over three years.  He just insisted that we probably need to do a restore on the 4S.  You know, because that would clearly explain the problem we also had on the 3G.  His backup plan was to call Apple support.
So before I submit a ticket to Apple, anyone else able to confirm this limitation?  I've checked with my friends and the ones that have iPhones don't sync their contacts anywhere.  iCloud will help but we use XP and the PC software requires Vista or better so for now we're still unable to sync our contacts to our PC.
Thanks!
david

On your wife's phone, when you said you've done a restore, was that a restore from backup or as a "new" device? I would suggest deleting the .ipsw file/files on your computer, connecting your wife's phone and restore as "new". When finished, DO NOT SYNC, rather eject the phone and test, verify that all is working correctly. If so, connect her phone & sync her content back.
The .ipsw file is located here, delete all you find, there should only be one:
~/Library/iTunes/iPhone Software Updates
If this works, under preferences, devices, in itunes, delete her backups, as they are most likely corrupted.

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