Accepting international invitations

I just received a calendar invitation from a business colleague in Hong Kong and asked for my personal calendar in iCal to be cc'd.  My work calendar is outlook and it automatically adjusted the meeting to display the meeting 10:30pm NY.  My iPhone is showing the meeting taking place at 10:30am the next day (Hong Kong time).  I have read through numerous posts and refuse to believe there is no way to fix this.  Please point me to a post or link that I have obviously missed or have not found.
Thanks!

Hi everyone,
This is an older thread but I am still having the same problem.
I am using Lion with latest updates and iPhone 4 with latest updates.
We use Google Apps mail for our work email server.  I have MAIL 100% working with my email address, and iCal is also synched with my Google Calendar on my MBA and iPhone.
I am one of the few people at my office that uses a Mac, and most use OUTLOOK.
Whenever I get a meeting invite, it shows up in MAIL as an attachment.  I double click on it and it auto-adds to the right iCal Calendar, however it gives me no option to accept the meeting.
I have attached photos for how the meeting shows up in my iCal (as you can see, my name still has a question mark and no forms of clicking it allow me to ACCEPT/DECLINE etc.).  I have also attached photos from the iPhone (shows the meetings show up, but only in grey-dashed-format)
Hopefully someone can help/advise!
Thanks!

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