Accessing/copying photos in iPhoto

I am so frustrated!!!!  I am trying to copy and paste photos that I have uploaded from my iPhone 4S (7.1.2) to my Macbook Pro (10.9.4) using iPhoto (8.1.2).  My iPhoto app came with my Mac.  I just tried to upgrade to the latest in the Apple Store but for some reason it would not offer me that option despite all efforts and coming at it from various directions.  I got to where it looks like I should be able to and then no options available - so I don't know if this is a version issue or not.  But I don't think it is.
I am trying to send photos as attachments to Gmail emails.  I can send emails with photos still on my phone but I don't want to type everything on my phone.  I can send individual photos using share and the Mac "Mail" but I don't use that for anything and don't want to.  I just want to be able to find, copy, and attach photos I have imported from my phone to my Mac.  They are not visible using Finder, at least with the "IMG_0xxx" photo id that is in iPhoto.  I have tried to go into various folders and the iPhoto library but no joy.  I just can't seem to find them. 
Must be something simple if I have just missed it, or, based on my recent last two years of love/hate/despise relationship with all things Apple, it may not in fact be possible.  I try to just up to date on software versions but each one seems to break more things than it fixes.
Any advice help is appreciated.

Terence - thanks for your kind words about how I don't get it.  I am not trying, nor do I want to be forced, to use iPhoto to send my photos via an application OR service I prefer not to use.  If that is the only way to do so, then it is my decision to accept that or not, and indeed, stop using it.  But I paid for it and I prefer that it play nice with the rest of the world.  I understand why it is easier to develop a set of compimentary software (whether it is a service running an application on a server or as an application running on my Mac) in a closed system way. Your terminoloty of "service" and "application" are not universally accepted and not widely used by all the users out there.  I have bona fides as system designer and developer but I won't assume that would make any difference to smug people out there and was there when the client/server model was initially developed and since turned into to server-based iCloud-type database services.  BTW I don't like having my sensitive personal info on a machine I can't lock up for myself but I am just paranoid and naive.   But I am fine being able to copy and access my photos with other applications that run on my personal Mac, and also to use the "service" that Gmail provides running their application via a client/server model.  I don't like Apple changing the rules to force me to use iCloud as a service to replace my Contacts application running on my iPhone and Mac.  Sure it is handy to have iCloud do that but I would prefer to have the option to keep local control of my contacts and calendar and there was no reason for Apple to force me to use iCloud except for other business reasons that benefit them more than it does me.
I did thank you for providing me the info to allow me to do exactly what I wanted to do.  I don't find iPhoto to be either intuitive nor well documented which is why there are people like you out there that have fun helping ignorant people like me to ask questions for answers that should be provided by iPhoto documentation.  I did spend over an hour trying to find the answers you gave me and only came here as a last resort.  Believe me, it is not fun to have to do that with everything Apple (and Microsoft, et al).  One of my hats in previous jobs was to manage the documentation process for far more arcane software than this.  The standard was that a user should be able to understand how the software works without jumping through hoops like going to a support group to be put down by those who have the time to sort all this out full time (or during the other time that other people use to have a life).
I am used to using Gmail, and Outlook before that, and Yahoo before that.....  I am not a power user.  I don't want or care to.  I use iPhoto because it is what came with my Mac and what works with my iPhone.  It is a very closed architecture and this is not the only frustration I have had with this model, especially with the lack of complete support for the products.  I won't bore you with the wide and numerous problems people smarter than me have had with Apple products.  And in any case, swearing at software is a long and distinguished process.  I am not the first and not the last.  At least I was only thanking you for your help rather than swearing at you.  I don't appreciate your condescending attitude for poor schmucks like me though.
Old Toad, regarding your advice, I actually have done and abandoned using Mail to go through my Gmail account.  I don't really care for two layers of software trying to do something simple like this.  And why should I?  Mail may be an application rather than a service but from a user interface point of view they look and feel the same and you have to follow their rules of the application or service design.  Gmail is not a perfect service but at least I know how to use it for my email.  I don't really want to have to use Mail in additon, especially when I can access the Gmail service on any platform I happened to have to use at the moment. Mail is limited to my Mac since it is a Mac only application (I'm sure you will correct me if I am wrong on that).  To each his/her own though.  I do appreciate that you guys did help me and that I have the options to use the systems (whether as a service and/or application) in a way that best suits my skills and preference.  I won't knock how you prefer to do your mail and photos.  It is just not what I want to do if given the option.  BTW - I have several reasons to wean myself away from the "service" that Google provides but that is not an Apple application issue.

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