Achieving chevron-like distortion of font (a la WordArt)?

Sorry if this is fairly easy to do... I'm relatively new to Illustrator and I haven't been able to find a forum thread or video tutorial or anything on Google based on my search criteria in several weeks of searching.
I'm trying to figure out how to take a block of text and distort it in such a way that the left half of the word slants at a straight angle upward, and the right half of the word slants at a straight angle downward. Not curved or wavy. In WordArt for Microsoft Office, this can be achieved via the "chevron" shape. However, the person I'm doing this for wants the text manipulated such that the letter A (which is in the middle of the 5 letter word) is perfectly centered despite "Impact" not being a monospaced font, and WordArt doesn't allow for such customization. I suggested Illustrator, since the shirt screen printers prefer it anyway.
I've been searching online, experimenting on my own, and I can't figure out how to do this chevron shape. Granted, I'm fairly inexperienced with Illustrator, but is what I'm trying to do possible? Any tips?
While I'm here, I might as well also ask about a second type of distortion that's in the design that I'll need to recreate in Illustrator. It seems to be another WordArt perspective thing... basically the word is taller on one end and shorter on the other end, AND the shorter end is slanted up so that it's even higher than the top of the tall letter. Is there a way to do this on Illustrator?

Sure, it works. Make the mesh with one row and two columns, then with the Direct Selection Tool drag a marquee around the two anchor points at one end. Select the Shear Tool, click at the bottom center of the text, then shift-drag the selected end straight down. Drag a horizontal guide from the top ruler (View>Show Rulers) to the bottom anchor point, then repeat the process at the other end, shift-dragging that end until the bottom anchor point meets the guide. Direct select anchor points and adjust the handles. If you put a vertical guide through each handle and make sure it stays on that line, your letters will stay straight.
If you don't want the middle letter to bend in the center, click on the Mesh Tool in the Tool Panel, and with it click once on each side of that letter on either the top or bottom line of the existing mesh. Then select the end anchors, then click with the Shear Tool on the point where the new mesh line meets the bottom line. Repeat on the other side, then adjust the handles. You may need to use the Convert Anchor Point tool (Shift-C) to make the handles at each anchor point independent. It's pretty quick once you try it a time or two, and it's fun to experiment.
I've partially adjusted these so that (I hope) you can see what's going on.
Peter
In the upper example I accidentally added an extra mesh line. Please ignore it.
Message was edited by: tromboniator

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